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DEAR HARRIETTE: During the pandemic, I started wearing a wig. It was the only way to keep my hair together when I was unable to go to the hairdresser for maintenance.
I have grown to like this new signature look, but I worry that when I see colleagues in person, they will have an adverse reaction to my hair. I have always looked the same, up until two years ago when the world changed.
We have an on-site meeting soon. I want to wear my new hair, but I am a little nervous. They have seen it, but only in a Zoom window.
New Look
DEAR NEW LOOK: This is a new day, and you can show up in whatever way you choose. As long as you look professional and appropriate for the workplace, your new hairstyle should be fine.
Be prepared to answer questions about your new hairstyle. You don’t have to go into detail, though. You can say you adopted this new look during the pandemic and decided to stick with it.
You do not have to say it’s a wig. Just enjoy it.
Look around. I bet there are others who look a bit different, from new hairstyles to new body shapes. Many people gained weight during the pandemic, while others got fit. Some people you may have never met in person look different than what you imagined.
Just greet people and enjoy being in one another’s company. Everybody is going to be “new” in one way or another. Enjoy that.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a control freak. Everything I say and do, he seems to want to modify, starting with food.
He likes to tell me exactly what I should eat and when, and he always has a story about why he makes those suggestions. I get that he is into nutrition, but I want to eat in peace. I am an adult, and I do not need him to monitor my every bite.
Similarly, he tries to monitor all of my activities. I am a stay-at-home mom. He has a job. While he is at work, he is constantly calling me or texting me to see what I am doing.
It is annoying. I am fine. I do not need him to monitor everything.
How can I get him to stop?
Loosen Your Grasp
DEAR LOOSEN YOUR GRASP: Talk to your husband. Remind him that you are an adult and are capable of taking care of yourself. Ask him to stop trying to control your every move. Tell him that it is suffocating. Yes, you need to say it out loud.
Point out that your job is to take care of your family at home, just as his is to care for your family through his work. Remind him that you are capable of handling the household duties and that you will reach out to him if you need help.
To the best of your ability, ignore him when he starts to go through a litany of things that you should do. Let him talk, but don’t feel like you have to do everything he says. If he becomes agitated or even violent when you do not comply, you may need to seek shelter. Just try pushing back for now, and see what balance you can strike together.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Originally published at Harriette Cole