Judith Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My nephew is getting married soon. I received the wedding invitation, and it says “vegetarian or vegan with special dietary request.”
My nephew’s family are all meat eaters; none are vegetarian or vegan. I found it odd. Usually it’s the vegetarian/vegan options that are by special request.
Do I mention it? Is meat a special dietary request? It’s a new world, so I wasn’t sure.
I was thinking that I would just go along with it and eat a big lunch beforehand. His grandma thought it was funny.
GENTLE READER: Grandma would find it even funnier if you penciled in that your special dietary request was meat.
But your hosts will not be so amused. Miss Manners suggests that you and Grandma therefore make plans to eat your big ol’ slab o’ cow beforehand or afterwards — and keep the humor of the whole situation to yourselves.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: The pandemic has altered life in many ways, perhaps permanently. One change that is grating on my nerves is basic telephone courtesy.
With so many of us working from home, it is now common to be on a business call while listening to dogs barking, babies crying or dishes being washed in the background. One person I work with seems to call me only while she is eating her lunch.
I suppose these callers aren’t aware of how distracting these sounds are.
I had to ask one client to call back when he was through at the gym because the sound of someone doing reps on a machine was so off-putting: wheeze, grunt, bang, wheeze, grunt, bang — constantly repeating in the background.
He was cool about it, but was I out of line? Are we supposed to accept this inconsideration as the new normal?
GENTLE READER: Lunch munching and gym wheezing are indeed extremes. (“Lunch Munching and Gym Wheezing” would also be an excellent name for a cartoon show.)
But, Miss Manners points out, none of us is exempt from the occasional barking dog or wayward car alarm when we are working from home, even if the sound is from across the street. She therefore suggests a simple, non-accusatory, “Why don’t I call you back at a better time?” And then hope like mad that there is one.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a co-worker who is obsessed with a particular movie series that came out when they were younger.
They love to talk about it, which is fine. I have seen them get very defensive, even a bit angry, when someone said they didn’t care for the series.
When I was asked the other day for my opinion, I avoided the topic, because I personally do not like the movies. We work at a small company, and it can be obvious when avoiding just one person. How do I best tell them that I’m not interested in that subject?
GENTLE READER: “If you don’t want to hear my opinion, then you probably shouldn’t ask.”
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Originally published at Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin