harriet1500px
DEAR HARRIETTE: I woke up in the middle of the night dreaming about an old boyfriend.
I haven’t talked to him in years, but I recently learned that his wife of more than 20 years passed away. I wonder if that’s why he came into my dream?
It was weird. The dream was erotic. I can’t tell you when I last had any sexual fantasies. I have been single and without a date for years. Sex really hasn’t been on my brain, but here I was in an intimate moment with this man.
Do you think that’s a sign? Should I reach out to him? And what should I say? Do I tell him we were intimate in my dream? I don’t quite know what to do.
In My Dreams
DEAR IN MY DREAMS: Dreams are not always literal. A few things come to mind, though, regarding your dream. For starters, now you know that you can and do still have sexual desires.
Your dream activated that for you, and those feelings were real. Relish in that!
Your dream also reminded you of this man. If you still have fond feelings for him beyond your erotic dream, reach out to him to say hello. Express your condolences for the loss of his wife, and check in to see how he is doing. Do not tell him about your dream. Instead, just talk to him.
You can ask if he needs anything. You can even offer to visit him or invite him to coffee. Read the moment as you are speaking to him to get a sense of where he is and what he is doing with his life.
No need to be pushy. Instead, just be present. See how things unfold.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am still working from home. My whole work setup now is at my desk with my computer that links me to the outside world.
My husband retired during the pandemic, so he is also at home without job responsibilities.
I have noticed that when I am on an important call, my husband regularly comes into the room and starts talking to me. He knows I am working. I follow the same schedule every workday, but somehow he seems to “forget” all the time. I then have to wave him off, shush him or interrupt my meeting because he won’t go away.
How can I get him to stop? It seems pretty immature, really.
Work Boundaries
DEAR WORK BOUNDARIES: Why not put a sign up on the outside of your office door stating your office hours? It can be the same daily, or it may change based upon your responsibilities for the day. You may also write into the calendar when your free time is.
To the best of your ability, venture out of your office during your free time to chitchat with your husband, share a meal or otherwise engage him. If he begins to notice that you are making time for him during your workday, he may become more amenable to honoring the hours you cannot communicate with him.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Originally published at Harriette Cole