Carondelet's Zoe Gregorios (2) dribbles the ball against San Ramon Valley High in the first half of their NorCal Division I quarterfinal game at San Ramon Valley High in Danville, Calif., on Thursday, March. 2, 2023. (Ray Chavez/Bay Area News Group)
DANVILLE — Carondelet High girls basketball coach Kelly Sopak emerged from a disappointing visiting locker room in good spirits.
The tears were flowing among his players following a 57-54 loss to San Ramon Valley Thursday night in a NorCal Division I girls playoff game, the Cougars having left their blood and sweat on the court only to fall when officials correctly ruled a 3-point bank shot by Allie Cummins had come a fraction of a second too late to tie the score at the end of regulation.
The way Sopak dealt with disappointment took what could have been an ugly moment and turned it into a teachable one. Tensions were high in the stands, as well as with Cougars assistants in the immediate aftermath. But eventually, everyone followed the leader. Rest assured if Sopak had spun out of control, the situation would have, too.
Things did spin out of control in a NorCal boys Division I game between Riordan of San Francisco and Inderkum of Sacramento, which was halted by officials with 1:15 to play following an on-court brawl that included some spectators from the stands. Riordan led 61-52 and will advance to face Granada, but lost its status as the host team and will play on the road in Livermore instead of its own gym in San Francisco.
Other than a grainy video, I didn’t see enough of the Riordan-Inderkum incident to know how or why it occurred. But the fight will likely get more attention than the way Carondelet handled a difficult situation, and that’s a shame.
Regardless, it is incumbent upon coaches to stress the right virtues rather than follow the “winning is everything” myth that can poison sports from preps to pros. Sopak said he honestly didn’t know if the shot was good or not and properly acknowledged that officials have a tough job.
Either way, he was going to live with the end result.
“I told our team, I don’t lose any sleep over games like that,” Sopak said. “It’s the ones where you don’t show up and just lay an egg when you second guess why you’re doing it.”
Maximum effort. Being part of a team. Supporting your teammates. Respecting the opposition. All are fundamental parts of getting the most out of the sports experience.
One of the oldest sports cliches in the book dates back to the early 1900s and sports writer Grantland Rice, who never had the advantage of smartphone videos: “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.”
It may sound corny and dated, but it’s as true now as it was then. Strive to win, then accept the end result by honoring not only the spirit of competition, but the opponent that helped make it happen.
Coaches at every level talk incessantly about conquering adversity, which often comes with a loss attached. Losing hurts and handling disappointing defeats is an important element of growth because it crosses over into real-life adversity.
Can’t handle a bad call or a bad break? Then how will you deal with a loved one with a serious illness or worse?
The lessons are learned in the formative years and it’s as much a mixed bag among professional athletes as it is with those in high school. Not everyone handles themselves like Stephen Curry or Buster Posey.
Look no further than the 49ers, who were labeled sore losers nationally in the aftermath of a 31-7 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles in the NFC Championship Game. The game was lost the moment Brock Purdy tore the UCL in his throwing elbow in the first quarter.
The Eagles also dominated both sides of the line of scrimmage. Brandon Aiyuk promised the Eagles would be “exposed” in the Super Bowl by the Chiefs, giving them little or no credit for a one-sided win.
Deebo Samuel called Philadelphia corner James Bradberry “trash” on the “I Am Athlete” podcast and then doubled down on social media after Bradberry was flagged for a defensive holding call on third-and-8 that helped the Chiefs win 38-35 in Super Bowl LVII.
Christian McCaffrey told NFL Network in half-seriousness he hoped both Philadelphia and the Chiefs would lose.
A better sense of perspective came from linebacker Fred Warner, who on locker-room cleanout day said the injury was unfortunate but he didn’t feel cheated.
“That’s life,” Warner said.
The Eagles, in contrast to the 49ers, handled their loss differently. Bradberry conceded he’d committed the penalty. Quarterback Jalen Hurts and coach Nick Sirianni struck all the right notes. There were few regrets and no excuses.
Examples in high school such as Carondelet and in the pros with the Eagles are proof that good sportsmanship and proper perspective are out there even in a hot-take, social media age.
You just have to look to find it.
Originally published at Jerry McDonald