Judith Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband (I am male) and I have been a couple for 38 years.
When we’re out in public (shopping, etc.), we don’t engage in even mild displays of affection (something we dislike seeing others engage in publicly, no matter the genders involved).
Still, after this long together, I’m sure we have an evident rapport and way of interacting that may seem familial to others.
On a regular basis (a couple of times per month), we’re asked by clerks, random strangers, etc., “Are you brothers?” We find the question puzzling and invasive, as if to suggest that it’s somehow abnormal for adult siblings to be in public together (if that were the case here).
What these people are picking up on, and why they feel inclined to either confirm or reject whatever connection they seem to be constructing in their minds, is a mystery.
I’ve been inclined to say, “Yes, we are,” and dispense with the invasion. Yet, on my better days, I want to ask (but don’t), “Why are you asking?” And on my less-good days, I want to say, “What (expletive) business is it of yours?”
Is there a more appropriate way of responding to the uninvited (and unwanted) invasion of our privacy?
GENTLE READER: The answer to the mystery of why people ask about all sorts of matters that are none of their business is 1) They are nosy and 2) They lack the filter of tact.
But Miss Manners would have thought that the answer you need supply is a simple “No,” in a tone intended to shut down further inquiry.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A young adult relative texts me a lovely greeting nearly every day, which I cherish so much. However, every single day, she makes the same two spelling mistakes.
I feel like I want to say something about it, but I don’t know if it would be proper or even how I would say it.
Her spelling mistakes are common ones that almost everyone knows about. She writes the phrase, “I love you more then you will know” — “then” instead of “than.” The other phrase that she uses every single day is, “Your welcome” — “your” instead of “you’re.”
She is married to my nephew, and I love her so very much. We have grown quite close. I don’t ever want to hurt her or upset her.
But it irks me that she does this every day. She probably writes these phrases to all of her friends and other relatives, too.
I think I would appreciate it if someone would let me know if I misspelled a word over and over again.
I keep wondering if it would be a kindness if I corrected her? Or should I just overlook it and try not to let it irk me?
GENTLE READER: A quick way to kill this correspondence would be to respond to expressions of affection with a report card.
Anyway, Miss Manners suspects that those admittedly annoying errors may not even be the fault of your nice niece-in-law. Texting apps are notorious for guessing the word being typed and finishing it with the wrong guess. And the repetition may be because of stored phrases.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Originally published at Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin