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DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got out of a yearlong relationship that ended on less-than-good terms.
My ex goes to school in Europe, and I go to school in New York, so we were already tackling the long distance and dealing with the stress it put on our relationship so early.
I heard from some of his old friends that he had cheated on me. I never got confirmation from him as to what happened, so I brushed it off as a rumor.
Now we’re broken up, and he has already posted about another girl on social media. I’m starting to believe that the rumors were true.
One of my issues with him was that he never acknowledged me publicly, except around friends. So for him to post about someone so soon hurts.
Is it fair for me to say something to him to get closure if he is with someone else now? How can I stop feeling like it is my fault that he acted so poorly toward me?
Insecure Over Ex
DEAR INSECURE OVER EX: You have to let him go. Nothing he will say will ease the blow of your breakup.
Given that he didn’t acknowledge you publicly before, he surely won’t give you the respect you crave now.
Some people behave badly. That is not your fault. What you can do in the future is to notice the signs earlier. If someone isn’t treating you the way you want and deserve to be treated, don’t stay.
DEAR HARRIETTE: This summer is the busiest one I have ever had.
I am in a wedding, working, trying to spend time with my friends and family, and also leaving some time to rest throughout all of the activities I have planned. I am starting to realize how expensive it is to manage and pay for all of these aspects of my summer.
I want to save up some money before I go back to school, but since my job is part-time, I am worried that I am not making enough to enjoy my summer the way I planned and still have a significant amount of savings.
I picked up reading again to have a hobby that does not require going out and spending money, but I still have to buy the books. I also do not really have time to cook, so I often order takeout, adding another expense to my list.
Do you have any suggestions as to how I might limit my spending while still getting to carry out my summer plans?
Expensive Summer
DEAR EXPENSIVE SUMMER: You are busy! It sounds like your activities are endless, though your bank account is limited.
It is time to get creative. You love to read. Now is the time to get yourself a library card. You can borrow as many books as you like from your library at no cost to you. You just have to remember to return them on time.
Though you say you don’t have time to cook, I strongly recommend that you make time. Takeout food is expensive, and if you have it delivered, the cost rises astronomically.
Finally, ask your employer if you can add hours to your schedule. You probably don’t want to work full-time, as that will eat away at your play time, but a few more hours a week could help you to save a little.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Originally published at Harriette Cole