Judith Martin
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m applying for my son to get into a competitive school with very limited availability for his age group.
It’s a well-known school in the area and highly desirable both because of the curriculum and also because it’s a small farm. The children learn to care for animals and grow their own fruits, vegetables and herbs. They also learn how to cook with these foods at the school’s kitchen.
My husband and I really want to get our son into this school because he loves being outside and we believe this will help with the transition from being with me all day to a school environment.
All applications are due on Monday, and I intend on being at the school at 7 a.m. to hand it in as soon as they open. Would it be appropriate for me to bring the staff pastries, bagels and coffee along with my son’s application?
I have a background in sales and would often do this with clients. It created a reciprocating relationship: I give you something and you give me your business.
I’m worried, though, that this may come off as desperate and tacky.
GENTLE READER: Or as a bribe.
Miss Manners recommends not doing this. Not only will you be, no doubt, one of many trying the same trick, but if the school is honorable, the inducement will have no bearing on the outcome. Except to make it awkward.
True, schools love donations and active parents, but presumably you will have shown that kind of enthusiasm on the application. If not, Miss Manners suggests you quickly add “loves scooping animal poop” to your list of attributes.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have never really put any thought into where I keep my purse at home. Now that I’m married, my husband seems to be really bothered by the location of my purse.
If I leave it by the entryway or near the front coat closet, he says it’s too close to the door and an easy target for thieves. If I put it on the dresser in the bedroom, it’ll “scratch the top.” If it’s hanging on a door, it’s “in the way.” If I put it in the bedroom closet, it’s “gross, because the bottom of purses are dirty and shouldn’t be near clean clothes.”
I ask him where I should keep it, then, and he just says, “Put it away.”
Where is “away”? Where is the proper place for a lady to keep her purse at home?
GENTLE READER: Anywhere she likes. There is no etiquette rule for this.
But since your husband feels otherwise, Miss Manners thinks the least he can do is to make a reasonable suggestion of his own — and not leave you standing there helpless in your own home with nowhere to put down your purse.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Originally published at Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin