harriet1500px
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in my late 20s and have been dating a man in his early 30s for a few months now.
Recently, he mustered the courage to open up about his past as a huge bully in high school. While I admire his honesty, part of me wonders if it would have been better for him to keep his past hidden. I myself was bullied relentlessly in high school, so hearing him admit to this really made me nervous.
Is it truly possible for someone to change and grow out of such a harmful mindset?
Ugly Past
DEAR UGLY PAST: I will start by saying that I was bullied in high school by a girl who, many years later, has become a friend who is kind and loving. I have marveled at how shocking that change of attitude was, but her recent behavior has been consistent.
What I will say to you is that you should have a frank conversation with this man. Tell him how upsetting it was for you to learn his truth, even as you are grateful that he confided in you.
Tell him about your experience. Share details about what happened to you and how it felt. Also, express your worry that his behavior in the past may manifest in the present or future.
Be open and honest. Otherwise, there is no chance of this relationship working. Use the honesty between you to have deep and vulnerable conversations. Perhaps you can heal together. I highly recommend therapy to move things along.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Because I’ve garnered a large following on social media, I get a lot of people asking me how to grow their own online following. While I appreciate the support, I have to admit that I don’t really know how to help them. My own following just kind of happened by chance, and I don’t have the expertise to make it happen for others.
I get asked so often about my following that I’m starting to think I’m missing out on a good opportunity by not capitalizing on it. What should I do?
New Opportunities
DEAR NEW OPPORTUNITIES: Since you continue to be asked, it may be worth it first for you to think carefully about what you have done that has worked and what you can share about your process.
While you say your growth has happened by chance, that’s likely not entirely true. Review what you did and when, how you shared your thoughts, feelings, experiences and values, and how people responded. Try to remember when you joined different platforms, and pay attention to how each platform works for you.
Then, if you want to consider giving advice about how to develop a social media presence as a business, do your research to learn what people charge for this service. Using the industry standard as your guide, inform the next person who asks you that you have established a home business to help people set themselves up for success.
While there are no guarantees, you can promise to teach what you know.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Originally published at Harriette Cole