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DEAR HARRIETTE: I am concerned about how my co-worker is being treated by our colleagues. She is a new hire and is constantly being labeled as “sassy” and “aggressive” behind her back.
The thing is, I have never witnessed this behavior from her. She seems nice enough — and far from aggressive. I think the woman just wants to do her job. The only difference between her and our other co-workers is that she is a woman of color.
I’ve started to call out my co-workers when they start gossiping about her, but it’s only led to them treating me poorly, too.
What should I do? I can’t report the whole staff to HR.
Work Bullies
DEAR WORK BULLIES: Thank goodness you are there and willing to stand up for this new hire.
Being willing to stand in harm’s way on another’s behalf is brave and necessary sometimes — even when it can make life hard for you as well.
I do think you should go to HR and report all of the people who are bullying you and this woman. Have specific examples to share with them about the offensive behavior.
Your company may need some sensitivity training. Perhaps this can be a teaching moment for everyone.
If the company does nothing, that will let you know what the two of you are dealing with. Then you have the choice to stay and do your job, knowing that the company doesn’t have your back in that way, or leave. If you stay, do your best to forge positive relationships with anyone who feels right, including the new hire.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just arrived in northern Africa for a family trip, and it is excruciatingly hot.
My dad’s side of the family is from here; they all wear very religious attire. I did not grow up religious, and I was unaware of the dress code here. In this heat, I am not sure that I can last these next two weeks covered in clothes without suffering from heat stroke.
I want to be respectful, but I also do not speak their language, and I do not know how to ask them what I should be wearing to stay cool.
At home, I would be considered to be dressed modestly, but here, I feel scantily clad with my shoulders and legs out.
Do you know what to wear to keep cool in extreme heat? Do you have any suggestions as to how I should ask my family what to wear so that I do not offend them?
Heat Vs. Clothes
DEAR HEAT VS. CLOTHES: Find someone who knows a bit of English who can help you to translate your concerns. Even without the language, you can point to your family and to yourself and your clothes and indicate that you want them to share some of their clothes with you.
Don’t worry. You will not overheat by wearing what they wear. Believe it or not, many people who live in hot areas cover their bodies to help keep cool. It seems like it doesn’t make sense, but people in the desert cover most of their skin for protection from the sun.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Originally published at Harriette Cole