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DEAR HARRIETTE: This Christmas, I’ll be meeting my boyfriend’s family. They live out of state, and it’s the first time we’ll be face to face.
We have been dating for nearly a year now and I really like him, so I’m looking forward to getting to know his family and see how he grew up. I want to make a great impression, but I’m a bit nervous.
Do you have any advice or tips for making a positive impact and navigating this initial meeting with his family?
— Meet the Parents
DEAR MEET THE PARENTS: Learn as much as you can about your boyfriend’s parents and upbringing before you go.
Find out their interests and hobbies. Ask specific questions to learn about family traditions, fashion preferences, favorite foods, extracurricular pursuits and preferred entertainment genres. Then select a gift for each of them that represents who they are. For example, if his mom reads mysteries, bring her a new mystery that has been lauded on the New York Times bestseller list. If his dad likes bourbon, buy him an unusual bottle that shows you took care to select it for him. You get the idea!
Be yourself as you share things about your life and family. Do not try to fit into their picture. At the same time, honor them by paying attention to them.
DEAR HARRIETTE: In my younger years, I was fortunate to have had several mentors who provided invaluable guidance, but I didn’t always fully appreciate or follow their advice. Now that I’m older and wiser, I realize the significance of their wisdom and the importance of networking.
How can I effectively reconnect with these mentors after a substantial gap, acknowledging the past while seeking to reestablish a meaningful connection for mutual growth and learning?
— Reconnection
DEAR RECONNECTION: As you prepare to reach out to these former mentors, recount in your mind what you learned from them. Be as specific as possible, and take notes on your recollections.
Next, look at decisions and choices you have made in your life that reflect the wisdom you learned from them. Find examples, if possible.
With this information, contact your mentors individually. Start with a thoughtfully handwritten note that you mail to them. This will show your effort. You can also type it if your handwriting is poor.
Express your gratitude for their impact on your life years ago. Provide an example or two of how you have implemented their guidance in your life. Apologize for so much time passing since you last communicated. Ask if you can schedule a time to speak or meet in the near future.
If they don’t respond right away, don’t give up. Stay in touch. You can move to email and provide updates on things that you are doing. You can also congratulate them on anything you learn about their lives through public sources. Share articles or other points of interest with them, with a note saying you thought they would enjoy the topic.
Stay in touch. Eventually they should reach back to you.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Originally published at Harriette Cole